What You Can Do to Support a Co-Worker Who is Being Abused
Some AFSCME members may be approached by a friend or co-worker who is a victim of domestic violence and wants someone to talk to. The following list of "do's" and "don'ts" may be helpful.
- Believe her.
- Encourage, but don't pressure her to talk about the abuse.
- Respect her need for confidentiality.
- Listen to her. Support her feelings without judging her.
- Let her know that she is not alone. Domestic assault happens to many women.
- Reassure her that the abuse is not her fault. She is not to blame.
- Give her clear messages that: she can't change her partner's behavior; apologies and promises will not end the violence; violence is never justifiable.
- Her physical safety is the first priority. Discuss her options and help her make plans for her and her children's safety.
- Give her the time she needs to make her own decisions.
- If she is not ready to make major changes in her life, do not take away your support.
- Give her a list of key community resources that support and work with assaulted women.
- Battered women need our support and encouragement. Some forms of advice can be harmful or dangerous.
- Don't tell her what to do, when to leave, or not to leave.
- Don't tell her to go back and try a little harder.
- Don't rescue her by trying to make her decisions for her.
- Don't offer to try to talk to her partner to straighten things out.
- Don't tell her she should stay because of the children.
- Don't tell her what to do, when to leave, or not to leave.